I may not live the healthiest lifestyle ever but at least the Burbank Blood Drive van still calls me and I pass there test every time with flying colors. Not to mention, watch out self-esteem cause I'm eating an entire free pint of ice cream tonight!

Let's be Friends

Dependency and the squalor that breeds from it. There is a wonderful comfort in having people and things to depend on but in the same bed with comfort lay an unguarded wound from the times we have been tossed aside and hurt in the past. Every time I go out with new friends I find new people’s eyes turn my way, new connections and the freedom of the world at my fingertips. The amazing thing about this city is that the probability that any person you randomly run into on the way to the bathroom or start conversation with while waiting for a drink at the bar knows at least one other if not numerous people you know is relatively high. How strange it would be to see a chart of all the people you know and than how and where they connect to each other. This might lead to bad situations with ex-friends or ex-more than that’s but besides that I think it’s extremely intriguing. Do we all find each other so closely knit because we all run in the same circles, are similar types of people, or just that there are only so many places you can go and only so many people when you’re an outgoing social butterfly.

While enjoying a relaxing Sunday yesterday at the Shangrila Hotel Rooftop in Santa Monica, after a group of friends left I had the urge to meet some new people so we called over a few random passerby’s to join us in our cabana. We ended up spending the rest of the time there with a group that kept increasing in numbers until people were sitting on laps and on the ground. In this group through our conversation we found out that two girls were from the exact same small town in Idaho and two guys had the exact same name and there sisters had the exact same name and they had hung out with the same people the night before only never crossed paths. As you can guess, all this serendipitous affiliation was what brought to mind this babble. I find the feeling of only being dependant on yourself rather freeing and the feeling of being happy when all the odds seem against you ironic but magical. Meeting new people and learning that dependency might be the only reason you’re holding onto old people is a lesson I started learning long ago and continue to learn.

Cameraphone picture of the day that makes me giggle...once again thank you Coffee Bean bathrooms and lil' hoodlems everywhere.

The Dreaded Chase

The subject today class, dating, friendships and the chase. No one wants to admit that they follow the typical guidelines of the standard equation when it comes to meeting new friends or lovers, yet although some might not consciously even know that they are, they are. My friend and I were discussing this over breakfast today at “Jack and Jill’s” in Beverly Hills (Amazing food), and both pride ourselves to be perhaps some of the few that hate playing games but believe them to almost be a necessity if you have any chance in this crazy town. I find that every person that I unintentionally put to the wayside by being bad at returning phone calls, texts or what have you seem to be the ones that consistently desire me. I’m not saying that they are all the same but it seems a little too on the formula that every time there feelings are requited and I am showing honesty and interest, the situation almost immediately will flip flop to where I am the one being put out to pasture. Most recent example of my last sojourn into the sticky lair of dating went as this exactly after a few weeks and then guess whose coming around again once I gave up and moved on. Merely a coincidence, perhaps sometimes but not here and amazingly people seem shocked when I no thanks the option to fulfill there fleeting crush on me and than realize that the grass is greener or that someone who is available and interested must have a few screws loose. As we, excuse my French, bitched about this matching aspect of our lives, we in the end decided it will of course make the cool down to earth people you meet and the ones who don’t have the vain yet shrouded in self doubt tactic’s preinstalled more special. I don’t want to say I’m taking a sabbatical from the whole scene because I’m a hopeless romantic but nights like my last spent laughing, hugging and drinking with good friends new and old makes the idea not seem so bad. The chase, bad. Good, surprisingly mixing cabernet and chardonnay in equal parts…curiosity came to actuality at dinner last night and although our waitress might have thought I was crazy, it was delightful. Another option to avoid dating and great way to reduce gas use….drinking at home.

So Downtown LA gives way to numerous new experiences, I frequently encourage people who only stay in there one bubble to find themselves there at least to check it out. The scene is so different, you can almost be prepared to see anyone or anything walking around. I'd say one of my favorite things about it is the diverse styles and ecclectic crowds, people seem to dress how they want and not give a shit what others think which is something I love. This loft party downtown lead us to meet the Guiness book of world records Fastest Etch-a-Sketcher and wow, if that doesn't sound interesting to you than you obviously haven't thought the concept over. This guy sat with his own Etch-a-Sketch and in under a few minutes without looking for a long time of it sketched a portrait of two people sitting across from him. It absolutely blew my mind and unfortunantly my video from my phone doesn't really suffice but wow. Places I suggest checking out in Downtown...

Seventh Grand- This is by far my favorite bar downtown, upstairs with a patio, leather and wood decor, extremely knowledgable bartenders wearing old fashioned attire, over 300 kinds of Whiskey....uhhhhyeaaa....., not to mention live Jazz music on Tuesdays and Wednesdays which has pretty much gotten better each time I've gone.

Cole's- Filippe's direct competition for the originators of the french dip sandwich. Has the most amazing atomic sauce I've ever tasted, great mac and cheese and I always go for the Lamb...scrumdiddillyumpcious and yes thats a word. There old fashion manhattans and sazerac cocktails are nothing short of a well crafted piece of artwork.

Next door to that is the Association which has an amazing ambiance and good drinks. There's also a great bar through Cole's behind it which feels like a secret basement or something but is pretty cool. My number one warning with Downtown, ladies...don't walk alone and ultimately try to park close and walk in groups not to freak people out but it is near Skid Row and I carry pepper spray for a reason.

And all these people have been wasting time being stressed out about finding diets and loosing weight...who knew it was so easy? Thanks public restrooms :)

After a long drive, a snoody airline woman, a delicious salad, a jock with horrible cutoff sleeves hitting on me and two espresso's hiding behind aviator sunglasses I watched the sunset while flying to the wonderful place that I call home....Los Angeles.

"Hello Mrs. Sun, your lovely and your blue. It's kind of strange the way you change but then again we all do too"

Music Suggestion of the day- Devandra Banhart "Little yellow spider"

Looming Tequila

Riding the bike trails in Oregon, the solitude, the peace it creates as the cold wind blows on your face as you twist and turn on the tiny path weaving through a beautiful forest of huge green trees that smell as incredible as they look. Being with family gives me such a feeling of comfort and happiness. A level of being myself with no worry and always seeing love in there actions towards me. Waking up the last few mornings to the smell of coffee and breakfast and the most familiar voices I know talking upstairs. The porch off our house was the perfect view of a serene lush landscape and even gave us the opportunity to feed wandering deer off of it. We went white water rafting down the Deschutes river and as we regaled my dad with our story as all us kids went in one raft, my sister in full laughter in between gasps of air told him of some verbal vomit I had which we all laughed at, he hugged me and said "You don't know how much like me you are". My rocky relationship with my pop would have usually made me not like this statement but the last few years have changed us both for the better and this trip is making me realize how right he is. I smile. My sisters and I laugh and speak nonsense in weird voices, content to sit and talk for hours, it feels like home. It's fathers day, all eleven of us are gathered closely around a large table cluttered by food and bottles of wine, he makes a toast to life and love and says that the last five years have been the best of his life. I can't quite say the same not that I should analyze it because I believe the good and bad are there for a reason but it sends my spirits soaring that the best years of your life can come in your 60's and that there are things and people that you haven't met or encountered that might be the meaning or precipice of your existence. We go home and make margaritas and drink and play games until most everyone goes to sleep but my sister and dad stay up. We spend hours listening to Zeppelin, Morrison, Dylan....music that is from his youth but transcended to ours. We spoke of our childhood, our mother, the days when the money ran out and we all shared one bedroom on a long dirt road, our trials and troubles and he toasts once more that brings tears to my eyes. "If for anything I am thankful it is that despite the mistakes I've made, the depression I let affect my parenting, when I wasn't there, I am the luckiest man in the world to have these daughters. You fear when you have kids, the people they will end up being and I couldn't have more admiration or respect than for how my daughters turned out". I've lived in L.A for five years and I can easily say I've met so many different kinds of people that it is staggering. You met people who you think are amazing who turn out to walk all over you and people who you might accidentally walk all over who turn out to be the most eye opening friendships you have. This was the first time I really sat and thought what it would be like to make a human being not knowing at all what kind of person with what kind of morals, heart or dreams they would have. We dance in socks and pajamas on the kitchen floor with the looming scent of tequila in the air to the songs that make me feel that all is right in the world. I've never seen either of them dance so dorky and look so free and happy in my life. It's 6am and the sun rises on us, this is a night I will never forget.

A Truth Babble

Would I want truth above all other things? Happiness, love, success....maybe but what is truth? A part of each persons truth is there perception so is truth hearing it and perceiving it how you may or just without question taking the truth someone gives you. I stopped writing because I stopped hurting. Keep moving, keep putting one foot in front of the other, another day will come, another love and another smile. I hope that I never loose the passion and devotion and I hope that the words and scars of the past don't jade me from finding what's over that next hill. One day you wake up to find that your the happy one and there the troubled ones. All these years of believing what they want the world to believe but when you look past others pitying the dorky downfalls that you clearly display, you'll find your problems are just that...dealing with other's judgements. Which is hard yet easier than judging yourself.

Photography