Tuesday, September 29, 2009

September 29Th of 2009

September 29Th of 2009

This day will never happen again. Since I can't upload, edit photos right now until I get my computer up and running which will hopefully be the 1st, fingers crossed, I want to talk about pictures and why I love them so much.
A photo can show something that we can't see with our naked eye, it can catch a look or an angle or a look in someones eye that you may never see by looking at them. I feel like when I take pictures of people, I can see a part of them that no one else can see. When I capture that look that I want in a photo, it's like the best drug in the world. A huge reason why I adore photography to the point of infatuation is because it's freezing time, it's freezing a moment, a day, a smile and a feeling that you might otherwise have forgotten and now years in the future and you can look back at that picture and whether good or bad, you can remember a piece of who you used to be.

I think this is also the main reason why a lot of people don't like pictures and videos because they don't want to remember or don't feel confident in themselves.
It's amazing to me when I look back at pictures of me when I was young and had just shot up like a weed. I was way taller than my older sisters, my mom and was giving my dad a run for his money and still had my baby fat face, some chub around the waist and it's a surprise I even knew what the word posture meant. My mom would always tell me to fix my posture but at the time, all I wanted was to be invisible and being 5'8 in fourth grade made it nearly impossible.

For that few year span, in every picture literally I was slouched over, preferably leaning on something, baggy sweatshirt with an extra sweatshirt tied around my hips. I don't know who I thought I was fooling but if I ever spilt chocolate milk on myself and desperately needed a replacement sweatshirt in the middle of summer, I was set! Not to mention that every boy until high school was shorter than me and usually quite a bit smaller so that made those years full of being jealous of my normal sized friends and getting laughed at every time I would slip a note to little Petey. If only Tom and Katie had been around then, thanks for nothin. It wasn't until I graduated into dating older guys in High school that I kissed a guy without leaning down to do it.
Picture of me and my best friend Heidi at the County Fair which mind you is in July. Notice I've got a wicked lean going on and of course sporting a lovely sweatshirt around the waist. On top of my appearance, I decided to show farm animals...naturally. My lamb that year was pretty cute though, his name was Ramsay.
Although I hated every time someone took out a camera during those years, I'm really glad I have those pictures because every time I look at them they remind me to stop slouching, to stand up tall and proud and maybe wear an outfit that I've told myself I'm too out of shape to wear. This is the only day like this that will ever happen again and I want to enjoy it no matter what I look like right now, how I feel right now and no matter how much money is in my bank account. There will be better days and there will be worse but there will be no other September 29Th of 2009.
Abigail Frank~

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Dare I say

Dare I say its getting cooler and dare I say it's the first day of Fall. Double Dare....that was a good show.

So I have a camera full of pictures and no computer to enjoy them, edit them or upload them to this lovely blog which I'm sure has many many many loyal followers ;) I was letting myself wallow yesterday in the hallways and corridors or my misfortune which I've done a few times lately and just feel stupid for allowing myself the idiocy of doing. Oh no poor me, I have no obligations today except play guitar, cook and eat, exercise, have coffee with a friend and read and write...Puulease. I need a smack in the face.
I spent a while on the phone and over Internet chat with Technical Support for my computer, figured out what I need to spend to get her back on her game which hopefully will be done very soon.
Now contacting old friends and people about setting up some shoots and meetings together to make some money and get the creative juices flowing.
Hopefully I'll hear back from the managers I've talked to recently sometime in the next month and well...I think things are going to be good.

Peace, Love and healthy electronics,
Abigail Frank~

Monday, September 21, 2009

My Fools Errand

Sometimes it's really hard to stay positive, sometimes it's hard to remember that things could be worse. I find myself sitting in my room using my roommates computer because that mine died a few days ago. When I lost my job in July I didn't dream that two months later I would be where I am now and the fact that I am scares the living daylights out of me. It was not long ago that I was working everyday at my day job along with doing numerous photography and modeling gigs and sitting on a nice little savings and shopping for a new car, now the looming idea of what will happen next is following me around daily and the drastic change that has happened is befuddling me.
It became almost impossible for me to keep any type of structure in my life after I lost my job because that kept my routine in order. Having to be up and out of the house in the morning kept me waking up early and working on photos usually in the morning until I left for work. I find myself missing putting my hair up, my black slacks on, my white button up and looking professional and heading out for my day, I would go shopping and run errands after work before doing Runyon usually which was followed by my roommate and I doing yoga or Jillian workouts in my living room. I feel like it seemed effortless to get everything done, stay in decent shape and have a busy social life at night when you have no financial worries and a structure to stick to.
Although my new job is set to start in exactly a week from now and I'm hoping and praying that this structure and life resumes to some extent and my worries disappear, I hope I can remember maybe through me writing now in weeks and months from now how I'm feeling at this moment and never forget to be thankful for what I have and to never ever let this happen again. I have things that are too precious to loose in my life right now and if the surprises, trials, rejections and new beginnings have taught me anything in the past six months, it is that you never know what is around the bend so I plan on staying positive even if things seem a fools errand.
Abigail Frank~

Monday, September 14, 2009

Advice, like Youth...Probably wasted on the Young

It appears to be a Monday.
Sitting in my room drinking a mug of Primo Roast from Fresh N Easy enjoying what seemingly feels like fall weather than again it's early in the morning.

Movie Reviews-
"9": Very unique storyline and concept mixed with great characters and visuals. I would say I was entertained the whole time but not something that needs to be seen in the theater or more than once. I will say though that 3 & 4 are the cutest things ever and I would love to find them in my happy meal.
"Sorority Row": I'm tired of seeing dumb horror movies like this and than hearing people complaining about how dumb they were, umm hi....watch the trailer, evaluate the plot, cast and targeted audience. Doesn't need too much dissection to realize it's going to be cheesy with some bad acting and maybe a cool death scene or two and that's what it was.

Things I learned this weekend-

  • Jose Cuervo Silver doesn't get you drunk
  • I'm not into the shock value of long rape scenes in movies
  • I'm afraid of Beyonce's Hip Gyration's and outfit tributes to 80's cut bikini lines
  • FOOTBALL!!!!
  • Three Olives Bubblegum vodka: Smoother transition for kids to start drinking than Pucker or Peppermint Schnapps like we did when I was in High school.
  • K24 Mixed Greens Salad with Goat Cheese and Caramelized Walnuts: Yes please
  • I need to bring my camera next time I go to the Hollywood Farmers Market
  • Boo to Boho's limited and expensive brunch. Whoa to there fabulous Feng Shuied decor
  • I like capitalization and use it constantly where it's not grammatically needed
  • I actually didn't realize that last one this weekend but all the time and don't give two shakes because it pleases me.

Stop name dropping shadow

Song of the Always: Baz Luhrmann- Sunscreen
Okay so this isn't actually a song but I first heard this ten years ago as most people did and I kid you not, things in life remind me of lines from it all the time. I was thinking about one of the lines yesterday that basically says what I already know and try to tell myself everytime I look in the mirror and don't like what I see (The first piece of advice) and as dorky as it may be, I think it's still ten years later a great speech/song/what have you and has some advice in it that we all should remember more often.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
than my own meandering experience…I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not
understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and
recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you
Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm
on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing everyday that scares you
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with
people who are reckless with yours.
Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes
you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with
Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you
succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your
life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they
wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don’t.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe
you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky
chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t
congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your
choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body,
use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people
think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever
Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.
Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the
people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you
should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and
lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you
knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live
in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will
philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize
that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were
noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund,
maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one
might run out.
Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will
look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who
supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of
fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the
ugly parts and recycling it for more than
it’s worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen…

Here's to the power and beauty of our youth...

Abigail Frank~


Friday, September 11, 2009

Late Labor Day

I don’t know why I look forward to coffee so much because it doesn’t give me that caffeine boost that it gives most people and basically just tastes good to me. For a while I felt as though I was constantly spreading myself too thin. I was making too many plans and doing too many things and found myself going out every night with different groups of friends and never going to bed before 4am. During this time I thought on a few occasions how nice it would be to go out to a cabin in the woods with no computer, cell phone or form of communication and just relax. Eliminate that constant desire to check your texts or look for people you might know at a bar or think about what events are going on tomorrow night when you’re at an event this night. I didn’t like the Hollywood creature I was becoming. I’ve always believed in balance in almost every aspect. I love going out and partying but I want to balance it with staying in and reading or watching a movie, I love eating pizza but I want to balance it with eating a healthy diet most of the time.
I didn’t do it on purpose but I’ve found myself on this Friday in September realizing how “Person alone in a cabin” I’ve become lately. I’m looking back on the past week realizing I didn’t go out one of the nights, I didn’t party or drink besides a glass of wine and I barely looked at my phone and didn’t really ever feel a strong desire to. That is probably to my own demise because when I do, I seem to be missing phone calls and texts left and right and friends unhappy with me which I guess is what happens when you don’t constantly have your phone on you. It feels so refreshing though to only have my mind in the present, thinking about whatever I’m doing, the conversation I’m having and the people I’m with. It’s feels so refreshing but at the same time I almost can’t remember what it felt like to have this constant need for connection with the world, a constant need to always be doing everything and seeing everyone that I possibly could. Not that this isn’t important or all my amazing friends in LA aren’t anything short of amazing but I’ve accomplished a level of balance that I think I like.

Let’s talk Labor Day! So I’ve gotten a little caught up with writing and shooting random things this week that I haven’t taken the time to sit down and blog but last weekend was a blast. When you get to a place in your life where each weekend seems to get better and better and I have found myself here many times before, you realize how lucky you are that in spite of the things you’re lacking, life is pretty darn amazing. I spent Friday with some of my closest friends new and old at Avalon for a short while and than back to a good ol’fashioned home hangout at my spot. Saturday brought a delicious brunch at Kitchen 24 in Hollywood than off to a Dodger game in the evening which led to some adult beverages on a friends rooftop overlooking Sunset Blvd and than a stroll to The Roxy for my good friends band “It Boys” first ever live performance which was incredible. Sunday started with a Starbucks pumpkin spice latte and hitting the road for beautiful San Diego where we relaxed, rode bikes and dined until a big group dinner with good friends and my surrogate parents.

After rounds of tequila shots, we decided a bottle in our condo would be the best idea so we did that until a final late night trip out on the town in the haze of Mexican liquor. Woke up Monday to some beach cruisers, It’s a Grind and Tecate as we headed to Seaport Village for some sailing.

Perfect weather and perfect company, a few hours later we got off the boat and took the bikes out to a Happy Hour than rode around downtown until the scheduled BBQ back at home than spent the rest of the evening eating delicious food and listening to my favorite live music on the rooftop of the Meridian.

One of my best's and I were going over this the other night as I am a fan of always reiterating to yourself how lucky you are, how lucky we were. I have friends who I have known for years and gone through almost everything weird, dramatic and heartbreaking that you could go through with friends and still have them in my life as people I can lean on and who always make me smile. Yay for Labor Day weekend 09' and yay for wearing white pants after it.

Check out more photos at my Flickr!!


Song of the Day: Lucky Lady Love- It Boys

Abigail Frank~

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

The Science of Sleep

The world seems a blur to these unrested eyes,
the shame of the morning, the promise of night seems like lies
My body lays tingling full of active energy,
trapped inside a sullen shell, so limp these muscles be
I shut my lids for moments to try and leave the light,
they burn in exasperation as they keep there fight
What there waging I believe started as the end,
enjoying every new excitement waiting just around the bend
Yet somewhere along my thirsty minds crave for wanting more,
it forgot it dwelled inside a mortal ever needing core
Now as I stare for hours at the ceiling above my head
I find that daydreaming isn't what it seems while mine happens in my bed
My thoughts and imagination take flight as the city around me sleeps,
beautiful stories and spoken word as my eyes begin to weep
It always dawns upon me now that my eyes have yet to close
like my heads trying to tell me something before it will let me doze
I dream of sleeping and fight sleep to dream as my subconscious and the universe form into a team
Perhaps one day when I've conquered my dreams and accomplished what in this existence seems,
Was my purpose and triumph for my presence on this earth
I will see what these lonely nights were worth
Until then I will enjoy the delirium it adds to everyday
and maybe that delirium is whats leading me down the right way.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

The Hyprocrite in Me

We all don't want to be hypocritical but as humans, we innately have our own thoughts on things which sometimes can contradict the way we want to be. I've always absolutely despised people that are hypocrites, the ones who judge you for smoking a cigarette when they gave them up two days prior. I certainly try to pride myself on being someone that walks the walk of my talk as much as I can and I hope that my friends would attest to this. I've been in dire need of a new day job for the past month and as if this heat weren't horrible enough I spent the majority of my days walking around turning in resumes or going on open calls at bars and restaurants around the city. If there is one thing you need for going to an open call for a waitress in Hollywood it is confidence and the ability to smile and nod your head.

We've all been around judgemental people and seen the negativity and pollution that they spread and I for one will always try to not be judgemental yet being in situations like open calls brings about the real voices in your head. I know it is me being a hypocrite which is why this is what this babble is about because I constantly try to stay away from people who think they are in a place to judge anyone because guess what people? None of us are. My number one problem with going to church when I lived at home was the Christians reading verses from the bible reiterating how only god can judge us and it is our job as good religious people to support and love one another unconditionally and spread his word and that love and support. Yet all I saw everyday at church was gossip and judgement about everything from what someone was wearing to the fact that someone wasn't a good Christan for missing service last week. None the less these experiences in my life are what led me to want to lead a non judgemental life but sometimes yes....I'm a hypocrite because I'm judging right now.....and the judge victim is Girls in Hollywood.

For the past few years my experience has been going into an interview with these girls that wear little slutty outfits with high heels, perfect makeup and hair and have the audacity to BBM while waiting to interview and every time these are the girls that get the job. Than like clockwork those are the girls that are an issue and management has lectures with the staff about there turnover rate and people not being on there phones etc. Why these managers think hiring someone who can't stay off there phone long enough to look professional at an interview is going to take pride in there professionalism in the workplace is beyond me. These past years of these redundant circumstances makes it hard for me not to judge the ones that happen now but I pride myself on having an open mind as well as perhaps some hypocrisy so I'm always willing to be proven wrong.

My first day today was the meeting with all the employee's of my new job and there maybe 20 girls there in total and maybe four of them myself included that didn't look like barbie dolls. I usually get places early so I had the distinct pleasure of watching every girl walk through the door and believe it or not after a while, I felt like I'd watched the same girl walk in over and over again. Plastic plastic plastic. All that's going through my head is how long are these girls going to last? Which ones will surprise me by actually having a good head on there shoulders? Where did she get those shoes?...wait...nevermind that last one.

I know that I for one can get dolled up, curl my hair, wear skirts and heels one night than go out wearing ripped jeans and a baggy Tshirt the next and I don't want someone judging me either time thinking I'm a stereotype of that style because that's why clothes are fun because we can dress to our mood. Once again a reason why I don't want to label these girls but sometimes when it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck....well you get my drift.

Here's to my new job and to the hypocrite in me, she's judging you while warning you not to judge. Happy Tuesday and Happy September!
Abigail Frank~