Monday, September 21, 2009

My Fools Errand

Sometimes it's really hard to stay positive, sometimes it's hard to remember that things could be worse. I find myself sitting in my room using my roommates computer because that mine died a few days ago. When I lost my job in July I didn't dream that two months later I would be where I am now and the fact that I am scares the living daylights out of me. It was not long ago that I was working everyday at my day job along with doing numerous photography and modeling gigs and sitting on a nice little savings and shopping for a new car, now the looming idea of what will happen next is following me around daily and the drastic change that has happened is befuddling me.
It became almost impossible for me to keep any type of structure in my life after I lost my job because that kept my routine in order. Having to be up and out of the house in the morning kept me waking up early and working on photos usually in the morning until I left for work. I find myself missing putting my hair up, my black slacks on, my white button up and looking professional and heading out for my day, I would go shopping and run errands after work before doing Runyon usually which was followed by my roommate and I doing yoga or Jillian workouts in my living room. I feel like it seemed effortless to get everything done, stay in decent shape and have a busy social life at night when you have no financial worries and a structure to stick to.
Although my new job is set to start in exactly a week from now and I'm hoping and praying that this structure and life resumes to some extent and my worries disappear, I hope I can remember maybe through me writing now in weeks and months from now how I'm feeling at this moment and never forget to be thankful for what I have and to never ever let this happen again. I have things that are too precious to loose in my life right now and if the surprises, trials, rejections and new beginnings have taught me anything in the past six months, it is that you never know what is around the bend so I plan on staying positive even if things seem a fools errand.
Abigail Frank~

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